Stephen is a Carer for his brother, who has a mental health condition. He has been a Carer for 42 years. This is his story in his words.
I have been a Carer for my older brother for 42 years. He has a mental health condition and needs help with all aspects of life.
I love my brother to bits, but it can be overwhelming. Life as a Carer means wearing so many hats – brother, doctor, cleaner, nurse, and more. It often feels more like I’m his dad than his sibling, and I know that’s how he sees me.
The hardest thing I find about being a Carer is the workload. Alongside being a Carer I have my own family and grandkids, as well as being a foster parent, but my brother could not cope without my help so I just get on with it.
“Life as a Carer means wearing so many hats – brother, doctor, cleaner, nurse, and more.”
“For years it felt like I was doing this on my own, I never knew that help was available.”
It has been a fight to get support in place to help with my brother. A couple of years ago I finally managed to get paid Carers to go in and help with some of his care needs, but we have had problems with the way my brother has been treated, so I’ve also had to monitor that and fight for better quality of care. This has recently improved and it is making a difference.
For years it felt like I was doing this on my own, I never knew that help was available. I remember trying to apply for benefits and finding a complete minefield – I had no idea where to start. Another time, my brother was called in for an assessment – we were told at the assessment that it was fine and we had nothing to worry about, then 2 weeks later his benefits completely stopped! Fortunately, we were able to get help from Stirling Council’s One Stop Shop and we got them reinstated, but it was a very stressful time.
One thing that I’ve found really helpful was getting Power of Attorney in place. I’d previously applied to be my brother’s ‘named person’ under the Mental Health Act, but it didn’t really do much. My brother’s doctor suggested that I apply for Power of Attorney so that he could speak to me directly about my brother. It was expensive, costing us around £400 at the time once you added in solicitor’s fees, but it has made such a difference and allowed me to be more involved in my brother’s care. I would like to see a discount on the cost of this for all Carers that need it, not just those with low incomes, as it can be a huge help in carrying out a caring role.
“Each bit of support we’ve managed to get has lifted more of the weight. I wish I’d known about it much earlier. “
Each bit of support we’ve managed to get has lifted more of the weight. I wish I’d known about it much earlier. There are still so many people who don’t know that help is available and are missing out on vital support and finances. I would encourage anyone who is a Carer to look for the help that is there, but there also needs to be more publicity from the council and the government around the support available. A few leaflets in a doctor’s surgery are easily overlooked – it needs a high-profile national campaign to make a real difference.
Many thanks to Stephen for sharing his story with us. If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this story, please contact the Centre for support.
